Intuition Pillar: Thoughts from Lucy's Journal: Entry 2
Image by: @jessbaileydesigns
I follow Julia Cameron’s morning pages concept and have been journalling for many years now. I have filled countless notebooks from cover to cover, and it’s an activity that I anchor my every day on. If a day goes by where I miss journalling — happens sometimes — it bugs me a little to be honest. But I do recognize that life happens and I try to give myself some grace too.
Journalling has become a great friend to me. I do this creative activity first before I consume anyone else’s creativity anywhere else. This follows an idea I heard from Marie Forleo where she said “create before you consume.” You can search this blog for other posts related to my journalling, as I use it for so many things: a morning outlet, to process ideas, to tap into my intuition, to pray, to vent and to get inspired. I have gotten to know myself a lot better as it’s also a self-reflection tool. It’s also wonderful to carve that quiet time out for myself. I snuggle into a comfy spot with a coffee and spend time with a person who is important to me: me! In my opinion, and especially as a woman and mother, I’m available to everyone else at the drop of a hat. Journalling was a way to make myself a priority, and it is something I now protect fiercely.
A little while ago, I had this thought that I would publish excerpts from my journal on this blog. One of the brand values that I discovered when I rebranded to ShineSparkL was radical vulnerability. I have a tendency to stay guarded in my life and it hasn’t always served me. In re-branding, I felt it was something that had been missing from MBP (Marketing & Business for Photographers) that I wanted to bring into this new brand. I have been able to get more vulnerable with my own self through journalling, and I felt that sharing unedited and true passages from my journal may help others. Especially those who suffer from impostor syndrome and think everyone else has it together. We all do, and we all don’t, is what I am finding. We all have the potential to reach our dreams, and we all don’t always believe in the idea. When we share our trials and tribulations, we find common ground for empathy: for others but mainly for ourselves. This is my hope.
This is new for me. I don’t put dates in my journal, so pulling out something random. I might find a “format” if this proves to be popular or valuable and a mainstay in my blog, but for now, it’s just sharing what I’ve written. I hope it resonates and maybe helps you in your journey.
In this excerpt I’m referring to a low point I went through where I saw some social media updates from someone who has always been a high achiever, and with the crappy weather, illness etc I was vulnerable to feeling very badly about wanting certain things to be different in my life. I’m sure, fellow ShineSparkler, you can relate!
Lucy’s Journal entry (#2)
…I’m continuing to keep my mind in check. Harder now since I’m lying around sick, doing very little work. Idle hands kind of thing. Idle mind that can easily wander. I’m stopping it with my mantra and don’t want to go into any negative or toxic place and that means needing to protect myself from my own self. Our own selves sabotage us more than anyone else can. Our own worst enemy and critic. So I am now refusing to allow that to happen. Allowing it is partially responsible for the contditions I found myself in - to have something to pine about you need to create circumstances worthy of pining. So don’t do that! Protecting my thoughts and focussing on the positive will create positive circumstances and in some time from now will manifest them, creating a mindset environment with nothing to pine or be jealous about. The people I’m jealous of are creating and living their lives, and I’m the one creating and living my life and it’s focussed on them and what they have, making me feel bad. And so I start feeling and reacting badly while they move on without even a perception that someone else is watching or pining for what they have. They are oblivious to me and my thoughts. And yet they are still affecting me. How? Me! Not them. It’s all me. That just has to stop in its tracks. I’ll never advance or grow if I’m stunted in these feelings that don’t serve me and actually hurt and sabotage me. So I have to laser focus on the life I want and move towards that. With no thought to what others are doing, or noticing and blessing them and then turning back to myself. Eventually, I will come to a place and perceive that I already have what they have or better. And it will be good. That’s what I need to hold on to…
I hope you’ve enjoyed peeking into my mind!
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